What I found was an understanding of who I am and what I was struggling with . . .
I was not happy with life, but nothing seemed to be changing. I did not feel up to making more than occasional hesitant efforts to improve my situation. Goals and desires went unfulfilled. I was reliant on others for support necessary to live, to fulfill basic needs. However, I was unable to reach out for deeper, emotional support, and so I faced the daunting and exhausting issues of my life alone.
Instead of turning to others for help, I turned to the Internet to escape the realities of life. It provided an easy way of forgetting my troubles and a safer means of social contact, so I could tell myself that things weren’t really that bad. Of course, it didn’t help with actually solving my problems. The stress became even more paralyzing when I tried to return to the real world. Eventually, I left the computer only to do basic, solitary tasks. The Internet was a safer and still somewhat effective way to interact with the outside world.
When I came to reSTART, I was skeptical. I was still eating well, maintaining good hygiene, and keeping tidy: the opposite of the conventional view of the Internet addict, right? I felt perfectly capable of taking care of myself. However, I was aware that I didn’t seem to be getting any further than subsistence living. I didn’t see Internet use as a hindrance, but I knew I was stuck so I agreed to participate in case I might learn anything useful.
What I found was an understanding of who I am and what I was struggling with.